001 Cosmic Decision – Bapa

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I was told that if I pray God will hear and answer me. So I did it. I prayed. This is how I used to pray: “God, may I become uncle Jimmy’s daughter instead? Uncle Jimmy has more money but he  does not bear a child. While my Bapa, he’s got seven of us but not much money. Not fair. Why didn’t you give me to uncle Jimmy? I might have nice clothes to wear now”.

Uncle Jimmy died couple years ago. My Bapa is still doing good. Not a single illness we found that troubles him. He smokes cigarette, lots of cigarrete per day. Still no illness troubles him. Heavy!

Not knowing when he was introduced to that thing, I know why he smokes a lot. He carries tons of pain since day one when he was born, a premature baby boy he was.He had to go through surgery. He was the first person in the village to go through it. Two months later, his father passed away.

He had a step father, a really nice man as I can tell when I met him shortly but I am not sure how their relationship went. Because Bapa spent his youth with his uncle, a fierceful man whom everybody would agree upon his scary threats. I know Bapa went through an abusive life. Physically, mentally, emotionally, you name it! Yet he is still alive. No illness troubles him. Heavy!

Bapa has seven children. Eight were delivered but one said goodbye world first so now he has seven. I am number four. Of all children of his, I am number four and I am the most proud of being his daughter. He practiced variety of abuses when we were growing up and that is ok with me.

My name is Hasoma, that is ok is the meaning. That is ok, everything will be alright. My name is Hasoma, that is ok if I am not uncle Jimmy’s daughter. My name is Hasoma, it is ok that I grew up with abuses. I learnt a lot from those. I gained more, moreover.

My name is Hasoma. I never again want to be uncle Jimmy’s daughter. I have pride of sort in being Bapa’s daughter. I want to tell you why that is in more upcoming posts. Tata for now!

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